


Me And My Broken Heart

by LambertLover19



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 04:24:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1496551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LambertLover19/pseuds/LambertLover19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being the victim of a bad woman in the past year, Questioning person John Wilder searches for one night of passion and fun, a rebound relationship, and hooks up with longtime friend, the now retired-temporarily superstar Adam Lambert. Will Adam be the love he's been looking for, or yet another troublemaker who's gonna break his heart? How will John end up if Adam turns out to not be the one?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Manipulator

**Author's Note:**

> The sex scenes in this story, the few there will be, will not be as graphic as the sex scenes in my previous work, "Troublemaker", because the character John Wilder is one I made up, not an ex-boyfriend or current boyfriend for fans to flail over, and because the plot is more profound. Story's about heartbreak in a relationship, why it occurs and what happens when one tries a rebound-type relationship, so explicit sex is not necessary. I hope you guys still like it, though.

"Forget it, John! We're through for real this time," John's girlfriend, Marissa, says to him during what she hopes will be their last argument.

 

John retorted, "That's what you always say. How many times have we broken up in the past year? How many times after the breakup do you call me to tell me that you're lonely? Why don't you just call another pawn to hook up with?"

 

"Dude, you're treating me like I'm this evil bitch!"

 

"Isn't that what you are, though?"

 

She slapped him across the face, and then covered her face with both hands, concealing thick tears streaming down.

 

"You see?  _This_ is why I can't wait to get rid of you for good this time! You're manipulative, deceptive and abusive! I am 27 years old, no longer 17, so I admit I'm a fool for allowing you to do this to me! Three years together, Marissa! How much longer on this fucking rollercoaster! I'm out!" John stormed out the door without even packing up his stuff.

 

 

 * * *

 

On the other side of town, American-Idol season 8 Runner up and worldwide sensation Adam Lambert, had just moved to Boston after a temporary retirement from showbiz to try to clear his head a little after an incident with a sociopath ex boyfriend nearly left him paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of his life, just for taking a picture with a much-younger male fan that made this asshole jealous. It was 2020, and Adam had vowed to never again fall in love with a man solely based on looks. He never thought he'd miss his ex before Barry Nussmeyer, Sauli Koskinen, the way he did now. Barry and Sauli were nothing alike. Sauli was sweet and loving. Supportive. 

 

Barry was a male version of Marissa Ainsworth, John Wilder's now ex, but much stronger, bigger and much better a manipulator and liar. Barry was now in prison for almost killing Adam Lambert.

 

Adam said to the waiter at the restaurant, "I hope $200 is the tip you deserve. I'd pay you $2,000 for a tip if I had more money with me now, but I no longer carry exorbitant amounts of money with me."

 

Smiling, the waiter said, "I understand, Mr. Lambert. You're the first customer to ever give me a $200-tip anyway. Thank you. Please come back. Customers are rarely ever nice to me."

 

"Waiters like you don't deserve to be treated like that. I will come back because this is my favorite restaurant in Boston."

 

"Have a nice night, Mr. Lambert."

 

Just when Adam was walking out of the restaurant, John Wilder was walking in alone. Marissa's house was less than 10 min. away. The instant the two men locked eyes, John was lost in love again. He didn't know what it was about those eyes. They seemed to be lighting up in the dark. He'd always had sex with women, though, and never been a fan of anyone on American Idol. What did this mean? Was he attracted to Adam Lambert now? p>

He went ahead and started a conversation with a stranger, like he always did. He didn't care. If he had something to say to the stranger, he'd go right ahead and all out. He hoped to cause a good first impression, though. He didn't remember Adam as an old friend, what he really was in his life, but just another celebrity he was meeting--outside of Hollywood, something he thought was a rare occurrence. "Um," he said, and he heard the words he wanted to say in his mind, 'What happened to you? How come you didn't make any more music', but all he could say out loud was 'Um, sir...um...um...'

Adam smiled. "Yes?"

John would've found it aggravating and just left if the tables were turned, but he'd never known Adam for getting annoyed easily. "I really wanna talk, but I can't."

Adam said, "I see that. Why is it, though?"

John said, sounding more like a 15-year-old-girl, "Because you're Adam Lambert!"

Adam shrugged and said, "So?" and decided to change his words and his tone, hoping to make his words sound humorous instead of mean. "Uh, yes, I am Adam Lambert, and you are John Doe, and so what? I mean I am civilian Adam Lambert, out of Hollywood and even LA for too long to still be seen as celebrity Adam Lambert."

"That's always been so you, what you just said."

"Hey, I remember you!"

John's eyes protruded. "From where?"

"Fifteen years ago, remember?"

"You and I met in 2005?"

"No. We lost contact in 2005, but we'd known one another since 2001. Remember Germany?"

"No."

"That explains it. Nothing left to do but..." Adam stretched out his hand saying, "Hello, I am Adam Lambert. I am pleased to meet you."

John's words came out as stutters. "John Wilder, same."

"How could I forget tiny John Wilder? It's impossible! You were such a sweetheart, then! The first friend I made that spoke English." He laughed.

"Really?"

"Yeah! You had quite the last name there, too. How many people in the world have an adjective as a last name, especially 'wilder'."

"I haven't made honor to my last name in the last 3 years."

"Why's that?"

"Been whipped."

"Meaning gotten your ass whipped?"

"Yeah, that too."

"Ooh, I hate hearing that! Hey, the restaurant's closed. Wanna have a drink with me at the nearest club?"

"Am I dreaming? It seems like I rather teleported here. I thought I was all the way on the wrong side of town."

"I suggest go to your doctor and get a script for an MRI and an EKG, bro. Sounds like you've been beaten too hard; brain damage."

They started walking. "You'd know about that because..."

"...happened to me. In a coma for one year, rehab treatment, still recovering. Suffer from long-term memory loss and neurosis."

"How far back do you remember?"

"2017."

"You don't remember anything after year 2017?"

"No, just that I retired."

"When do you think you retired when you lose track of time between 2017 and 2020?"

"Last year."

"That's bad. Very bad."

"I'd say."

"The scariest symptom though is the neurosis. That's sounds like..."

"It's not psychosis, if that's what you mean to say, and yes, it is indeed the symptom that's hardest to deal with. Having a panic attack over losing my phone..."

"Didn't you always do that, though?"

"Wilder, there's a difference between, 'OMG, where the fuck is my phone', and screaming and crying over it like a crazy."

They stopped.

John said, "Nooo...."

"Oh, yeah."

"So what you're saying is you're always in touch with reality, but you can't deal with the simplest daily problems."

"That's what I heard neurosis is, and the key difference between it and psychosis."

"Surprise, I suffer from psychosis."

"When do random psychotic attacks happen, if you don't mind me asking."

"When I get upset."

"That explains how you thought you 'teleported' here from 'the other side of town'. If you walked here from the place where you were, it took you five minutes at the most to get here. Did you have an argument with someone that was too tough to handle?"

"Yes. My girlfriend."

"...And that's where the comment about being whipped came from. All right, John, I hope I can be of help and if you take a drink with me perhaps I can rent you a hotel room for a couple nights and go back to my new home, and if you need to talk to me again you can call me and we can meet. I've stopped taking guys home, and I'd only take my ex-boyfriends into my hotel room with me. No more sex with strangers for me. That's how I wound up all fucked up."

"Same here, Adam."

They stopped again. Adam was awestruck at that comment.


	2. Adam and Adam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John starts to notice how much he and Adam have in common as victims of domestic violence.

"I hope I didn't just scare the shit outta you."

"You surprised me, to be honest with you, but you didn't scare me. I've dealt with a few psychotic people in my life, and no, I'm not talking about my fans. A fan in my book can be crazy all that he or she wants because that's manifestation of love that can't be demonstrated in any other way but getting crazy."

"Talking about your ex?"

"Yes. No, that's wrong. Barry isn't psychotic. He's a sociopath, controlling and manipulative like no other boyfriend I'd ever had. He's so horrible he made me miss Sauli!"

"That's the boyfriend you broke up with in 2013?"

"Yes!"

"...That you're still friends with?"

"Yeah."

"And he has a boyfriend now?"

"No idea. I try not to get into that. I don't allow him to talk to me about his bedroom life. He can talk to me about his buddies and horrible moments and whatnot, but I don't let him touch the subject of boyfriends or anything because I say what if he does have a boyfriend and that boyfriend finds out that Sauli's been talking about him behind his back, to his ex?"

"Not good."

"Not uh!"

"People accuse you of treating Sauli like your ex treated you, though?"

"A stupid fight at a bar proves nothing. I made the mistake of getting too drunk. When I get drunk, I always go home because I act stupid and just plain nasty and rude if I continue to interact with people outside my home or my hotel room. Inhibitions are taken away and that's when I become an asshole."

"But it's okay for the two of us to have one drink together."

"Yes, because you're an old friend, not a boyfriend, and because the doctor told me that one drink is all I can have, and every once in a blue moon, one shot, because going beyond that will lead to complications--physical complications, let alone social ones."

"You're being this nice to me because I'm an old friend. How would you have treated me if I had indeed been a stranger to you, someone you'd never seen before?"

"I would've given you a kind smile, exchanged a few words, and left."

"Do you see me as the child you met in Germany in 2001 or as a grown up?"

"As a grown up. It's been so long since I saw you as a child--but now that you went there, let me go all out. If you had been a baby when I first met you, I would've still been more like 'aww'...you know, 'cause that's just..."

"I understand. I asked you how you see me because I want to hook up."

"Yeah? What makes me that special?"

"Don't tell me that's how your ex approached you."

"Exactly!"

"What?"

"I don't want to hook up right off the bat. I don't want to be your next partner who's more like your ex girlfriend. It'd be no different from you going back to her."

"You're too much for me, man."

"Meaning..."

"I feel like I'm rather talking to a foreign and unrelated to me version of myself, like a Hindi John, so to speak."

"'Cause I'm a domestic-violence victim just like you."

"Wow. I still believe I'm dreaming. You can't be Adam Lambert I'm talking to. This can't be happening. I feel like I'm in..."

Adam pinched him on the arm, but not too hard.

They stopped walking again. John looked him right in the eyes again. This was Adam Lambert. "Got it."

 

* * *

 

The men opted for going to the nearest Mc. Donald’s instead of to the nearest club or bar. Alcohol wasn’t good for either one of them; thirty-eight-year-old Adam suddenly decided. It would leave them way too vulnerable.

John said, “You’re way too ahead of me, Lambert. Mc. Donald’s? Really? I thought you hated Mc. Donald’s.”

“I never just hated it. It was more about what its food usually did to my stomach, but we can have smoothies here, or you can have a soda if you want.”

“You don’t order food for your boyfriends?”

“That’d make me controlling. Fuck no.”

“Really? Is this about our age difference?”

“No. 27-year-olds are able to maintain control of their decisions, their thoughts, and in most cases they know what they want and someone that was born in the early 90’s, living in 2020, would never let someone born in the early 80’s drag them around like rag dolls. This is about your condition. I decided one shot would get you drunk, so no alcoholic drinks, for either one of us.”

“So this is all about me.”

“Yes, it is. It has to be. You’re the mentally-ill one, no disrespect intended. The sole mental illness I was ever a victim of was depression, nothing else, and it was always taken care of. Still is. I know that depression left unattended leads to other mental illnesses, and my guess is that’s what happened to you.”

“My God!”

“What?”

“How do you know, man?”

“Been dealing with depression far too long, I guess. Depressed and miserable since middle school? What would you be like?”

“I was far worse off than you.”

“How long depressed?”

“Since high-school-senior year back here in America.”

“Is that right?” They sat down. “Ever did anything about it?”

“Chose drugs and alcohol as my escape.”

“…And the abusive relationship you’re trying to get out of just topped the shit cake, didn’t it?”

“What can I say? I’m a fool.”

“No, you’re not. I don’t befriend people when I notice they’re fools. Too young to teach anything to a literal fool, understand? You don’t strike me as someone who really has to be taught anything, though. Been through it all, haven’t you?”

“Wanna be my friend? Please go get me a Coca Cola. I don’t think I’ll be able to go to sleep tonight at all anyway.”

Adam got up, went to the counter, ordered a small Coke and went to the fountain, filling the cup with ice and filling the cup up to the top with the drink. 

Looking right at him, John said, in an asking tone rather than demanding one, “No lid or straw, please.”

Adam walked to the table with the drink in his hand and set it right in the middle of the table for John. 

John took the drink and chugged it all in less than 3 minutes. Then he gave a big sigh, indicating relief and the quenching of an intense thirst. “I’ll never forget this, man. Keep in mind you decided I shouldn’t get drunk, but being psychotic after an argument with a harpy, it makes no difference anyway. You’re handsome. I want to hook up with you. Doesn’t have to be right now, but I’m hoping for it in the far future. I’m hoping you’ll like me enough, as we reconnect, to lead to it.”


	3. Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam does a few kind things for an old friend just because he's an old friend in a horrible situation. How will John see Adam when he notices these two nice things Adam does for him just because it feels good to Adam to help an old friend in need? Will John insist on a no-strings-attached relationship or fall in love?

Adam kept his promise of renting a hotel room for John for a couple of nights while John found a rental house to live in, as far away from his abusive ex as possible, though. John is taken to his hotel on a cab. When he arrives and enters his new room, he's astonished. He'd been told this was a 4-star hotel, but it looked more like a 5-star to him. Holy cow. What had he done to deserve so much kindness from Adam? He was too young in his mind to be that great a friend.

Adam called John's hotel room to see if John was there yet. When the phone rang, it was strange to John because he hoped no one knew he was here. John thought that perhaps the caller was looking for the person that had just left this room. John picked up the phone praying Marissa hadn't seen him and Adam together and hunted him down. "John Wilder."

"This is Adam. Did you make it there OK?"


End file.
